Coachspeak Part II - “The Grind”
“Oh, you know, we’re just grinding through it. It’s the dog days. You know, but there’s the unseen hours that will catch up. Just trying to get there.”
All of us have said this at some point or another. I will be the first to admit I have said it and I despise that version of the coach I was. I just thought that’s what it was supposed to be - everyone I ever coached with, against, or interviews with high level coaches went straight to that coach speak. So - I adopted it without even thinking about it. It became part of my inner voice - this external formula became the stock, go-to answer. It was a prediction of a self-fulfilling prophecy that when we were supposed to be getting better it was going to be a grind. Whether that’s the mid-season grind about halfway through the year or the “summer” grind of workouts, lifting, or the preseason grind of getting ready for the…well, you get it.
The grind never stops, right?
Let’s think about the messaging here. We tell ourselves, our players, and the world (via #Grinding) on social media that we are out here working. What does it mean to actually grind something; quite literally destroy it or wear it down. In an effort to sharpen and polish, are we putting our players and ourselves through a grinder because that’s the way we think it has to be?
We grind teeth, gears, metal or meat - not people. Our season, our skill development, and our relationships cannot be put in that same category.
When we message that we are, “grinding,” or, “it’s a grind in the dog days,” of the season - what we are really saying is that joy is not present in our daily life. What we are really saying, without much thought because it has entered the lexicon, is that “it’s supposed to suck.” When it’s January and it’s cold out and you don’t want to be here, you are going to gut through it and it’ll be an obligation for you because, “this is what you signed up for.”
Is that what we signed up for? Is that what our players signed up for - to just embrace the suck and keep it moving? No complaining because it sucks for everyone.
The real question then becomes: does it have to suck?
The answer is no. No, the “grind,” does not have to suck if we stop seeing it as a destructive process. There is no rule that says you have to do certain things in order to be great. There are no rules that say you have to spend an inordinate amount of time “getting things in,” in practice and doing the same thing every day in order to get better. There are no hard and fast roadmaps to improvement, YET, we treat those who enjoy it or are making it fun/different as outliers or “not serious,” about it.
The impetus for participation and seeking excellence in sport is the enjoyment of said sport. We tell ourselves a lie through Coachspeak that it needs to be hard, or unenjoyable, or that there’s going to be a period of time where we, “just have to get through it.” A basketball season is not like passing a kidney stone. We don’t just have to get through it and survive - we should WANT to get through it and thrive.
As coaches, that’s our job. How do we help our teams thrive? How do we plan practices that are engaging, fun, and help us improve. Notice the use of the word and, not but. It can be and should be all of those things, all at once. Each and every player’s motivations are not the same, yet we are to bring them together and the lowest common denominator is going, “through the grind,” together?
No.
I refuse to believe that anymore. There is nothing stopping us from doing what we know to be best for kids and for our teams and spending more time on building quality relationships, leadership and character development, and aligning our principles with our actions. The only thing that really stands in the way is the conversation about the grind.
To be clear, I am not saying the grind is unavoidable or there are going to be bad or tiresome parts of an experience. Human nature dictates that we will get bored, tired, or hurt. It happens - and that’s part of that, “grind,” we talk about. But those things are also byproducts of an experience that may be relatively predictable, routine, or overusing the body in a way that does not allow for proper recovery.
Shortening practice or playing kickball once to “change it up,” isn’t going to be enough. What are we doing daily even before we get to that point to change, in its essence, what the sport experience could be? Are we helping our players mentally transition into practice and out of practice? Are we infusing creativity and freedom into our practice and film sessions to ensure we are engaging at the highest level we are able on that day. Is the experience solely a physical one for our players and a vocal one for our coaches - mentally taxing on all that we, “just can’t get right?”
How is this furthered during a pandemic when at first, “we’d just be happy to play, you know, ONE game!” to, “man this just isn’t fun, we just don’t get it, we aren’t winning, we just can’t get right.” Where did the perspective go?
It went to the grinder, just like our bodies, minds, and emotions. How we regulate those things and provide opportunities for joy to be ever-present, while maintaining a controllable standard of US…now that is a fine grind of espresso straight down the hatch.
