I was extremely fortunate (I think?) to get my first head coaching job at the age of 24. I of course thought I was ready and knew everything I needed to know to run a successful program. Looking back, it’s a little embarrassing how hard I’m laughing at that idea. So young, so naive, so ignorant, but at the time I made due with the best decisions I could with what I had at my disposal. I don’t believe we ever do things wrong on purpose or try to make the wrong decisions. We make the best one we can in that moment, but oftentimes looking back after some reflection and with more experience and wisdom, that answer or solution might look differently to us twelve years down the road - it certainly has for me.
One thing I think I “got right” was putting the overall culture, climate, and experience of my players above wins and loses. I had a vision for our program. I had a ton of great words, phrases, quotes, a ton of coach speak that sounded good enough in the interview to help get me the job. The thing about coach speak is well, it can help you get the job but it doesn’t help you keep it. Speaking of which, have you read my guy Aseem’s series on coach speak? If not, finish reading here (thank you for being here by the way) then click this link to get started on that series. You won’t regret it and hopefully it will make you reflect and raise your awareness to some things we instinctively say without putting it into practice or even knowing why we are saying it. But I digress….
Essential Intent, as it’s referred to in Greg McKewan’s Essentialism is the number priority or focus on our program. It’s “the decision we make today that will help us make 1000 decisions later”. Some people might refer to this as their mission statement or guiding principle. Either way, the idea of the same, but with more intent. THE intent. What’s our #1 objective today or in the moment to achieve the overarching vision of the program? How does that one decision help aid us with all the others down the road? This is a big decision in and of itself. Here is a little evolution into mine over the years that I hope helps you with discovering yours.
Originally, I stole a phrase from Coach K while reading one of his books (cause well, duh it’s what you do as a 24 year new head coach - you steal from someone famous, right?). His one “rule” was to not do “anything detrimental to yourself”; because if it’s detrimental to you, it’s detrimental to the program. Sounds great right? Allows for some context and nuance as well without being boxed in by punishments or consequences which can a lot of times remove our ability to make decisions, especially if we have to dole these out “fairly”. My mom however, in her infinite wisdom and experience as a long time manager at a large law firm, convinced me not to use what she called “disqualifying language”. This is a lesson I’ve used ever since in all facets of my life and career. Rather than telling someone what they can’t do, speak to what they can and should do - empower them. This is similar when giving assessments in my classes. I never like giving them a traditional “test” as I feel it only shows me what they don’t know, and I’m much more interested in what they DO know.
Applying this idea I eventually evolved into me using “do the right thing” which was how our collegiate band director ended every rehearsal during my four years in the program. He would always yell the one word we were waiting on, “Podium!”, which meant we were done and to come huddle up. He’d continue, “please be careful and do the right thing. Up up up up up up up up up oooohhhhhh wup…{all in unison} I love ya, get out of here!”
Not only was there some nostalgia in this message for me but it says it right there, do the right thing, not don’t do this or that. However, doing the right thing can be tricky, tough, confusing even. Right according to whom? How do we know? Who’s to say? In what context or situation is this right? Is what’s right for one person right for another? Are there varying degrees of right? Has this been discussed collectively, clearly defined? How can we possibly plan for every single situation that may arise? We obviously can’t. This to me, became a large source of tension and frustration. It added a lot of pressure to get everything “right” before the fact, and we haven’t even been faced with the decision yet. This also seems to put a ton of pressure on that decision itself. If we don’t do the right thing then we must have done the wrong thing; and if we did the wrong thing then we failed. We are a bad person, we hurt someone we care about, we let the team down, and the list goes on. Doing the absolute right thing is daunting, and if every decision must be right we are asking our players to bascially be perfect. In essence, without realizing it, and to no fault of our own, we are setting them up for failure.
After years of reflecting on this and wondering what was, well...the right thing to do, I realized that all of this comes down to decision making, duh! We are faced with a choice, or choices. We must choose and that choice will lead to an action. Everything in life comes down to this. We are bombarded with these choices all day, every day, and again this can begin to become extremely overwhelming. Then came the next step in my Essential Intent’s evolution: rephrasing it to simply making the “next best decision”. That’s it. The next best decision in that moment, with the information, knowledge, experience, and resources available to me at that time. All that pressure seemed to melt away. It wasn’t about being right or perfect. Make the best available decision to facilitate the next possible action in order to produce the best consequences. We didn’t have to get it “right”, after all it may be days, weeks, months, or even years to know those consequences of that action and decision will be. And let's say for some reason those consequences were bad, or not what we hoped for. Then that experience gets to be our teacher and helps us with the next, next best decision. The fact we failed doesn’t mean we failed, it means we learned and now have more to draw upon the next time a choice similar to that arises, and we get to treat that previous failure as a good thing.
But to just simply make the next (focusing on the here and now) best (with what you know) decision you can, this more than let’s players focus on what they can do. It empowers them to make the choice for themselves, and allows them, encourages them, to take ownership of their own experience. This shifts the mindset. It shifts the drivers and motivations. To me, this takes all the pressure off, and puts us in a place where we can make decisions more freely and with more speed. It also allows us to continue evaluating decisions and provide feedback as situations and decisions arise along the way. This situation was new; we did what we could; what happened as a result? We decide, learn, adapt, and grow. We narrow our scope of choices as more clarity becomes available to us along the way. This furthers the process of empowerment, ownership, and speed. The other added benefit is we are creating more self-efficacy due to the belief we can handle situations and make good choices. Our skills and capabilities will improve, and there is no better motivator than someone who is showing progress. Show someone they can control their own progress and we begin to stack even more intrinsic drivers on our way to owning our experiences. The momentum we build can change a life. Stack it up enough, change enough lives, and we are well on our way to achieving our transformational purpose: to generate exponential, generational change. How do we achieve such a momentous goal? By simply making the next best decision we can. That just sounds right, right?
