In our last Reframing Winning blog (Part II), we approached building the standard and living our own expectations consistently. By keeping things focused on us and what we can control, our competitions, our games, and by extension our seasons and careers can become much more fulfilling and enjoyable. This is the work that is in front of all of us, which can be (dare I say should be) enjoyable in itself. Don’t dread the work or run from it - embrace it. This is the chase. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi reminds us that the Latin root of competition means to “strive together”. He continues,
“The challenges of competition can be stimulating and enjoyable. But when beating the opponent takes precedence in the mind over performing as well as possible, enjoyment tends to disappear. Competition is enjoyable only when it is a means to perfect one’s skills; when it becomes an end itself, it ceases to be fun.”
What Mihaly is stating here is that the external formulas of scores, standings, records, and trophies can force us to view success through that lens and that lens only. This means that for many of us, we are constantly setting ourselves up for failure with very little chance or control over the joy of our own experience. However, by focusing on Us vs The Standard, redefining character as the repeatability of our positive habits and therefore fighting each day against our worst habits, we not only have a chance to dominate each day but we get to be reminded why we got into this profession in the first place: to have fun, to bring joy, to make a difference, and to become fulfilled. When we coach in “flow”, we can’t help but win.
This leads us to perhaps the most important piece of this puzzle: character. We hear this term thrown around all the time in coaching, business, or just plain growing up. We’ve all heard this before: “your character is who you are when no one is watching” or some version of a number of traits that a person must possess to “be a good person”. We often mix up “having good kids” with having good character. Our players don’t get in trouble, they are compliant, they don’t complain, they work hard, they don’t cheat on tests, they don’t steal, they don’t fight and so on. But, if this is how we define character, we have, perhaps accidentally, set such a low bar for what character means for our players, ourselves, and our programs. Character isn’t simply not doing the wrong things, it’s us actively striving to do the right things, the best things, and serving and influencing others to do the same - regardless of our situations. By redefining character in terms of the “repeatability of positive habits”, character simply then becomes the consistency with which we make the right choices based on the standards we have defined for ourselves and our programs. Once again, this consistency is created by reducing that variability and complexity through the clarity of defined values and standards.
This is not just an “off the court” thing - it is in all facets of our lives, including on the playing surface. True accountability, then, becomes the enforcement and creation of positive habits, not punishing for mistakes, doling out discipline, or “calling people out”. When we begin to turn that locus of control on our inner selves, we not only begin to win, we win more, we win more consistently, but most importantly we also enjoy our experiences more. After all, who doesn't love to win? However, we all have heard, or perhaps have experienced (I know I have), winning games, titles, breaking records, yet somehow still felt the experience left us unfulfilled. The season was such “a grind” we couldn’t enjoy any of it - we can rest when it’s over right!? If winning is so great, how can we walk away from a win more frustrated than some losses? How is it possible for the scoreboard to reflect a loss yet we walk away from that game feeling like we’ve conquered the world? What is truly bringing out the best possible competitive experience we can hope for? It’s us competing against our worst habits every single day and becoming more consistent with making the right choices, and that begins by knowing who we are, where we are, where we want to go, and prioritizing speed to make it happen. We “RACA” our way towards congruence, harmony, joy, flow, and ultimately, winning.
